Give Them What They Want
As I have read in a book by Dale Carnegie, there was a poor man. His parents brought them up in utter poverty. If I remember correctly it was during the great depression, he ‘enjoyed’ his childhood. Like any other rags to riches story, he became in a situation, where money doesn't define him.
he wants to gift his parents a brand new home. He didn't ask them what they want. He took them to the new home with the expensive furniture and glittering interior. The parents struggled to cope up with the new home. One day, they have disappeared to the old ‘bad- condition’ home to live the rest. Our guy traced them and asked that ‘ what they actually want?’ . They have replied if you want to gift us something, gift a torchlight.
‘We are happy with where we belong, and we live a luxurious life with the pension we get. We couldn't afford the torchlight, so if you buy them for us, we will be grateful’
This is the story that repeats in all parts of the world, in some form(Sorry Donald Trump!). We don't give what they actually want. We force them to accept the things they really don't need. Who are they? It might be parents, wife, siblings, girlfriend, or anyone in the close circle or a perfect stranger.
People are so confused these days. we are focusing on our judgment to make the world a happier place. but the needy need something else.
one millionaire author gifted his beloved wife with an expensive car on the wedding anniversary. But before gifting it, he thought that these material gifts may not be enough. so he sat down at night for a week to write down something. It was a concise fact chart of ‘how she is the perfect one, each and every instance she proved the same, how she helped him to become a better person’. A review of their relationship which is healthier and stronger and what are the reasons for that.
You Know it! she said it was the best gift she ever had!
The costly grand gestures won't matter sometimes. But it is illogical to say that, gifting money or expensive ‘objects’ won't spark joy. It would. But those are not simply the best gifts.
How to identify ‘what actually they want?’
This experience is pleasure-based. Somebody should feel the happiness inside. In order to achieve that, always try to not have that communication gap.
basically Talking reduced the stress. I have read somewhere that, 50% of psychological breakdowns can be cured if somebody lends their ears to listen to them out.
Technological advances really reduced the ability of humans to tolerate drastically. The degree of patience we had is getting deteriorated. We want everything, crisp, bite-sized, and small but attractive. We need everything in nutshell. The dopamine reward, the instant gratification matters to the society we live in.
everything should be quick. If I ask the ones who out there that, how many of you have read a book that has at least 600 pages for the last 5 years, I may get very meager numbers.
Also the same goes with the nonfiction. According to Tony Robbins, there are only 10 % of the world's population reads nonfiction. But how many ‘Actually read’ the books they bought. I really dont know, but I am so sure that the number will be so low.
My point here is, we should enhance our ‘Listening ability’ and ‘tolerance’. We might help someone or we help ourselves. to live on an island is easy. Technology made everything easy. one day, the man may become a ‘non-social’ animal. But until then we could rely upon the surrounding environment.
Always give something back to society, again in some form!
